I A spectrum like oil in the sun: Shines and shimmers of a rainbow Flowing out of a pool of ooze Between water and steel Suspended on the pavement If you haven’t seen it That is the side of a rainbow trout Hook-hole in his mouth still bleeding As you hold it out in the sunlight I’ve held many of these trout Pinched their lower lip Between my index finger and thumb You wonder if its mouth is going to crack The first time you lift it up Run the cold iron wire of a stringer Between the jaw and tongue Is it that I see the stars When the band on its flank Sparkles in the sun? Do I see a universe in this pool of oil Seeping along and through The asphalt prairie of this parking lot? Black and deep purple And little tiny glints Diamonds swimming In a cosmic sea of Now and then and forever And the end if there is one— And all my dreaming nights Where I ran with a talking velociraptor ninja Bent on burying me sliced into ribbons Or staring at The white onion the size of my head Sitting in the pantry That I had to grab with two hands That felt like a soccer ball That I took a bite of to find No this didn’t taste like an onion No, not at all Just a bunch of wet and bitter and sour And I woke up The taste was still in my mouth With a sickening twist of sugar II But then I fall back asleep Wonder what it ever was What it ever is Why did I take a nap After that half day of school In August with the sun so strong It made the blinds glow faint yellow Then floating A cradle of air underneath me The cold against my neck The cold against my legs The cold against my neck The cold against my legs A chilled, comforting hand Pulling me into the ceiling Pulling me into the sky Or wherever I could hitch a ride On a transporter beam To the Andromeda Galaxy And end up crying at the foot Of suns my eyes could not understand Worlds my wildest fantasy Couldn’t hope to touch Come back to Earth On a cosmic sleeper’s dream And tell everyone I have seen Eye have seen Oh what these I’s have seen And seemed In places that will never compute Then its time to rehash The little pink dot I put on the little blue dot Its time to feel small and grand I mean, you know Somehow I must be part of it That star-stuff I was born from Must’ve come from somewhere Done something amazing And in one moment been part Of the only hope for survival Of the entire universe Or some Luke Skywalker shit like that It had to be Right? III But then I fall into my skin And remember Throwing rocks into a pond From up on the hill with Eric Seeing who would make a wider ring Who would skip the rock further Seeing him always win When I’d go paintballing And always ask why Remembering each time They’d made a plan To trick me into feeling more awkward Than I already did Knowing nothing About the Rams lineup Or the Cardinals streak record Or who I was supposed to play On my stereo at night When I gave my great defiance Of listening to music past my bedtime I’d ask why I was going just to be cannon fodder And why I ever went for any of it But so it is When eyes swim In a pool of stars While feet trip on a pebble— You can bury your head in the clouds But your body still sinks in the water And then I wake up again And fall back into myself To remember my friend is waiting for me Inside the bar And I really have to pee And completely forgot What I was ever trying to remember When I starting staring At this oil puddle in the first place